me
sometimes I think
this body belongs to
no one
least of all the
one it shapes itself
around
constellations in styrofoam
there is a smell
now in this room. The
two ceiling panels
fell out like
rotten teeth
their dark
stain an eerie brown
never wet again
behind this the first ceiling. The
one this house was born
beneath, a long crack
shudders deeply
carved
who knows the wound that
caused its skin to split
its blood to spill. Now a
smell hangs here, hovers near windows
open, hoping to be let out like something
once lived has died. How long will its ghost
haunt this room, and claim the space that once called
me home.
Published by lunargirl27
I am a writer and an artist, a teacher and a swing dancer (and a lover of all dancing); a woman who loves to dig in the dirt, talk to the flowers and sleep with the trees. I am an eternal student. Though I consider myself an introvert, my passion is finding true connection with others. I have lived with life-long chronic illness, and continue to struggle both with physical health issues, and bouts of depression and anxiety, sometimes debilitating. I am still reconciling my past with its effect on my present; learning to love the little girl who is still me, the one who carries our trauma. And I am finally, FINALLY, starting to know what loving myself actually feels like (less like an article in a self-help magazine, more like a loving expansiveness of self and a union with others. I don't like that description at all, but for now I'll let it be. This will kill my perfectionist). I'm here because I want to share my experience, strength, and hope. Not because I want to save or fix you, but because I hope you will see a reflection of your own strength and ability to heal in my words. The bad news is that no one will do this hard, at times painful, self-exploratory work for you. It's a humbling process. The good news is that you are capable of seeking help, and you deserve the love, support, and understanding that will help you heal. I acknowledge here, my privilege of having access to emotional support resources. I know I am one of the lucky ones. Though we cannot see each other, I know a little piece of you, just as you know a little piece of me. Our stories may be different, but we understand a shared pain. Though the specifics belong to each of us alone, our healing comes from also being able to see the similarities. This is how we break out of our isolation. And even if none of this helps you, maybe something here will lead you to a path that can offer you some hope and healing.
Reach out anytime, I would love to hear from you.
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